That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
