What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
