big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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