I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
