i think i have herpe
just one?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
