Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
