I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
