Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
