I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
