Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
