The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
