No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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