He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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