i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
