dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
