why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I supernannyed him into submission
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