The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
