Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
