I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
