I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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