Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
