I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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