girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
