Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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