oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
