I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
