I'm really into asian looking animals
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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