We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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