awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
