The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
do herpes really smell.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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