He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
