so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
