This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You need a sexual gate keeper
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
