Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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