with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
