I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
