you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
