no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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