Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
