She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
