playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
