Is it because I queefed?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
