Duck Duck Cougar?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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