If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
this hospital has no fireball
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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