I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
