You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
