maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
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