you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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