TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
