i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
