i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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