oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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