My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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