Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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