I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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