Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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