eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
