i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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