Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize