Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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