yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
how can u be prego again
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
