yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
