I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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