I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
