that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
