i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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