the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
