so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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