Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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