Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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