Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
